time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I supernannyed him into submission
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
