Define "chronic" masturbator.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
