Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
