i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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