What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize