Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize