is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
