so explain again why im purple
no
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
