Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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