No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
