i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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