I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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