Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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