You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
