Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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