I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
