My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
