There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just want nice things and good sex
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize