thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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