Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
