what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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