I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
