I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
