He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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