Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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