Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize