is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
