How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I looked at my own cervix.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
