wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
