Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
