Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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