My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
