: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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