Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
