oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
