Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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