I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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