I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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