im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I bet he comes in French.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
