There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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