she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
