People with herpes should wear stickers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
