His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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