He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
