Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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