My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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