You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
