Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
