Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
