Do you still have your period?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
