Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
