would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sobbing to NWA
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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