She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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