i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
