Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize