i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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