im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize