Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
