TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
