I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
