It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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