Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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