even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
