I wanna passion pit in your ass
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
