but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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