I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
